The power is in you...
Do you remember those, "Got Milk?" commercials back in the day? A little over 20 years ago (how in the world is it that long ago??) I was teaching middle school chorus at Sutherland (now Lakeside) Middle School in Charlottesville, Virginia. At the beginning of the school year, the administration had t-shirts made for the staff that riffed on those milk PSAs that read, "Got Power?" on the front of the shirt and, "The Power is in YOU, Sutherland!" on the back. I still own and wear that t-shirt - it's been relegated to my "grubbies" or for workouts - and it's kind of tattered, but I love the message just as much now as I did then. The reminder of the existence of our own power and courage and strength is something powerful in itself...
In fact, it's something I've been more intentional about pondering over the past year in particular. I'm not one for New Year Resolutions except for the tongue-in-cheek, standing resolution I claim every January 1st to, "Not shank a fool;" a streak I've managed to keep alive for 16 years running now (because I started it 16 years ago, not because anything nefarious happened 17 years ago...). Maybe one of the reasons I shy away from New Year Resolutions is because I don't like to set goals based on a date on the calendar, but as a result of a realization/acceptance of necessity.
At some point last year, I realized that my first action upon waking up in the morning was to reach for my phone. I'm embarrassed to admit that, but it was absolutely my habit. Being someone who tries to be hyper-aware of small things becoming habits that can turn into big things, I knew I needed to recalibrate. So I put the phone/charger in another room... Sure, that changed my physical behavior (something that, for a while, sated my concern), but the root of the issue still lingered.
WHY did I reach for my phone first thing in the morning? Was it to see if anyone (read: my daughter) texted me in the wee hours of the night/morning? Was it to check social media? Was it to check my calendar? Yes, yes, and yes. In varying degrees/proportion each day, but the answer was that in some way, I was looking to level-set for the day. What I discovered was that as a result of changing the physical behavior of not reaching for my phone, I eventually compensated with THINKING.
I remembered reading something about the importance of designating time throughout the day to think and while I had been making efforts to do that for a couple years, that time always seemed to get derailed with a project or an email or a video chat that popped up. While I did spend some time actively thinking, it wasn't as regular as I wanted or needed (though I didn't know that at the time). What moving my phone to another room overnight did for me was to organically build in time for thinking at the beginning of each day... And I can't explain well enough exactly how impactful that has been for me over the course of the past 10 months or so.
One of the "little" things that irritates me most is when someone says, "You should do this or that." The frustration I feel when faced with that kind of instruction (because it's beyond a suggestion, even if that is the intent) is admittedly not very Zen-like and I know I need to work on that about myself, but it is what it is until I can figure it out. My point is that I don't say all this to suggest that you should do what I have done, but to merely tell you what has been effective and enlightening for me. There is a peace that comes over me as I am able to gradually move into my day vs. being hit over the head with obligations and other peoples' opinions. I am able to dwell on the things that I want to dwell on and think through the complexities and nuances that I choose to consume vs. allowing them to consume me. And it's brought a peace to me that I don't ever want to give up; it's become more powerful to me than my previous habit that had a power of its own that I thought would be difficult to break. And while it was in some ways, the pain of breaking that habit doesn't come close to the freedom and peace I've gained as a result of a new one.
While I'm still learning every day, moving into the new chapter of my life with REVZEN would not have been nearly as peaceful without this one new habit that preceded it. In general, these past 5 months have been richer and fuller than I could have ever imagined. Thinking through my vision, my values, and my priorities have allowed me to stand up for myself (my time, my value, my experience) in ways that I never thought reasonable in the past. I've learned what my "non-negotiables" are and have determined that it's best (for me) to turn down business if there's any question of values not aligning. I look forward to thinking and learning about other things that might bring similar peace and power and learning to my life - and then acting on them. I don't expect fast results with any new thing, but I will always look for growth, positive mindset shifts, and peace.
-Sarah
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